How healthy is healthy?

This post is about exposing some harsh truths, and the reality of obsessive behaviour.

So, you've made the healthy change. You've lost weight and are feeling amazing, your clothes are loose, your energy is up, and your mind is focused, but think carefully, when was the last time you laughed? When was the last time you took the time to see your friends, or spend some quality time with a loved one? When was the last time you did an activity that wasn't meal prepping, exercising or health related?

Lately I have had some news that has put a whole lot of things into perspective and I am now constantly reminding myself that health and happiness means more to me than how good I look in the mirror.

I follow a lot of fitness accounts on social media and I am astounded by the passion, creativity and determination shown by many. Most people I follow do nothing but inspire me to continuing pushing and achieving all the things I want in my life. Unfortunately, I have also started to see an influx of accounts showing unhealthy and obsessive behaviour towards the gym and exercise frequency.

I love exercise, and I love planning my meals. This is partly because I have always been a geek when it comes to routine, but I also like to test myself as far as nutrition is concerned and how my body responds to meal timing and macro manipulation. I have come very far in terms of confidence and now longer feel the need to beat myself up about the fact things aren't moving as fast as I would like.

There was a time where my obsession to be thin was out of control, and I quickly found myself in a vicious circle of self-loathing and food comfort. Even after my eating disorder began to take less of a control over my life, I also found it hard to break routine without immense feelings of guilt.

I specifically remember standing in Tesco express and almost crying as I didn't believe they had any food that wouldn't make me feel guilty by sending me off plan. So much so that my mum took hold of my arm, stared right into my eyes and said: "This is ridiculous now."

I'm pleased to say I haven't had one of those moments in over a year, and feel so much more positive about allowing myself treats, social time and time to focus on other things than self-improvement. However, because I have been through something like this, it also means I can easily spot the signs of someone who is taking it all too far.

Athletes and competitive people in the industry monitor their training and nutrition in a different league to those who are not at that level of competition. This means therefore they will miss out on social events and may have to deprive themselves of certain things in order for them to stay firmly on track. This is an attitude I completely understand, and the determination to succeed out ways the urge to cheat.

It is not athletes and competitors I am targeting here, it is those who have made very healthy changes but have started to lose track of the important things in the process. You shouldn't be getting upset or nervous at the thought of a family meal, 'ruining your plan', you shouldn't be distraught because you can't train on a certain day. All these things can be recovered and finding the training/life balance is key to long-term success not only in your body, but in your mind too.

We all have demons to face, but do not replace your obsession with junk food, with an obsession to self-improve. Remember how far you have come, and allow yourself moments to relax and reflect before you become so overwhelmed that you give into a self-destructive binge or breakdown.
Take it from someone who knows, looking after your body is important, but so is looking after your mind.