Routine.

I've always been a person who enjoys routine. I like to have goals for the day, and I like to know exactly how my day will pan out (or as much as possible anyway).

It is often said that we should 'live for the moment', but the thought of living each day without purpose fills me with complete and utter dread. I have to admit, I know my mind works about 1000mph faster than most people's and I am constantly thriving for ways to improve, but the truth is, I would rather be an over-analyser than live my life without direction or purpose.

I find it easy to accomplish things when my thoughts are written down. I am one of those 'list' people who has lists for their lists. There is nothing more satisfying than crossing off things you have to do, and my current diary looks like the production of a schizophrenic artist - doodles, notes, lists, bullet points - you name it. It would make cracking evidence for the men in white coats to take me away I'm sure. I guess I am a little crazy, but I'm okay with that.

My mum said to me over the weekend 'you're so hard on yourself'. And I guess she is right. I don't think I'll ever be a 'settler' or a person who is happy with an average life. I have so many plans for my life and I will do my best to try and achieve them. I'm not saying I 100% will but one thing can be sure of is that I will try my hardest and put everything I have into trying to get there.

The mind is such a powerful tool. I find it fascinating that you can travel to the other side of the world to escape, but you can never escape your own thoughts. The mind is also our biggest tool in terms of success and hitting targets - and a positive frame of mind can be the difference between 'wanting' to achieve and achieving.

I have regular moments of self-doubt, and wondering if I'll ever get there, and then I sit and think how far I've come already. I never thought I'd squat more than my own body weight, or have the strength to say no to night-time binges with friends, and I never thought I'd manage to get from morbidly obese to healthy as I have.

As well as looking after my body, I think its equally as important to look after your mind, and listen when it tells you it needs a break. My mental breaks often come from sitting down and writing my feelings/worries and realising that they can and will be tackled, one step at a time.

I am also a firm believer in never surrounding yourself with people who make you doubt yourself. Loved ones should support your decisions and ensure the weight is taken off you at times when you may struggle. Sometimes taking part in a journey can leave you with completely different people to when you started, and that doesn't mean this isn't always a good thing, it just means that maybe you have outgrown your old life.

Of course I want a happy ending, and I want the fairy tale, but first I must work on my relationship with myself. Learning to love every flaw in my personality and body, and if I can't love what I already have then I will work on adapting it bit by bit until I do.