Ready to bloom.

I have been absent from the world of blogging for a little while now, whilst I started to restore some general order in what had become a very cluttered brain of mine.

I feel a little bit of a fraud to offer people advice when my own head isn’t completely settled, and it is often something I see: people dishing out bold statements when their own life doesn't mirror their preaching words.

So here it goes, a little bit about where I am currently at, where I am hoping to be, and all the niggling little thoughts in between.

Binge.

Since my weight-loss journey began, aside from adapting my body, it has also been paramount for me to adapt my relationship with food. 

I'm probably going to divulge into some areas many may be able to relate to here, whilst also getting a bit personally into my past - I must stress this is not for sympathy nor attention but merely my way of ensuring that some of those who may also feel/have felt like me are not alone. 

Focus on you.

Over the last month it would be an understatement to say my life has changed. I left a job that was draining my confidence and ambition and set out to change things within my life I wasn't happy about. 

I now find myself 130 miles away from home having moved away from Nottingham to set up a new life in Norwich, Norfolk. I have taken on a much more challenging yet rewarding role within marketing and journalism and have set my sights on growing my knowledge and pushing myself to achieve the best I can. 

Know your goal

This week, I've seen a lot of criticism and accusations of people 'over training' or 'doing too much.'
Whatever your goal, whether that be aesthetic or performance, it is important to take into account how much preparation it will take to achieve. Those who wish to step on stage will have to be much stricter than those who don't and those who aren't, may take a more relaxed approach. 

Bigger than your comfort zone.

My road to a healthier lifestyle has been a long and at times particularly difficult. Although I may have lost pounds and inches, I have also suffered the consequence of losing certain friends and becoming distant with those who don't quite understand the discipline that comes with training seriously. 

I find myself reflecting back on the first half of 2014 with so many mixed emotions. It began with loss of my grandfather and for a brief moment my world completely fell apart. I lost my sparkle and my days were filled with mentally blocking out feelings of grief and anger. I also had found myself trapped in an abusive relationship and a job that lacked challenge and therefore my passion for writing became stifled too. 

Never Give Up

Today I joined 4000 other women at Nottingham Victoria Embankment as part of Cancer Research's Race For Life 2014. 

I ran my first Race for Life in 2013, which was also my first ever race I had run. As an obese child, I had always convinced myself I was never going to be a 'runner', always came last in PE, and most of the time cried because I couldn't catch my breath. I longed to be able to run for a long for more than 2 minutes without collapsing in a heap from severe chest pains and a stitch. 

My first race was for the soul purpose of raising money for all those who had been touched by cancer, but also a large milestone in my journey so far. It allowed me to rewrite the thoughts I had placed inside my head which told me I would never be able to do it. 

Bodypower fever

It's that crazy time of year again - Body Power fever. A weekend of fitness loving people all under what was one sweaty sun-trapping roof.

I arrived on Saturday at Body Power as part of the JG Fitness Team. Recently I was asked to become an ambassador for a company who I believe will take the industry by storm.

Look at how far you've come!

Okay, so there you are, you've shed the pounds, fit into your dream dress, the number on the magical scales reads a lot more attractively than it once did, but are you happy? of course not.

The problem with the human mind is many are never satisfied. You've smashed your initial goal and then some but still you're left with hang-ups and dissatisfaction with your reflection in the mirror. 

I think most believe weight loss is the hardest part to the journey, but I can say from experience and from the vibes I get from others in a similar position that maintenance is ten times harder than the initial loss. 

Why I'll never compete...

"Why do you diet and train if you aren't competing."

If I had a pound for every person that said this to me lately, I'd have enough money to buy myself a protective shield to defend against the morons who question my motivation.

I have always stood by the fact that I admire those who compete. The sheer guts it takes to step on to that stage and be judged so critically is something that most of us will never have. I am lucky to have some of the most passionate friends in the industry who do compete and I will support them always. Despite admiring those who take the competition plunge, it is something that will never appeal to me.

Self-doubt.

The English language has always fascinated me. The ability to transfer all the thoughts in our head that are swimming around at one hundred miles per hour, carelessly bashing into one and other, into some sort of order and restrain can often be the cure to many people's downward spiral. Often seeking comfort in knowing that you are not alone in these dark thoughts, because someone else out there has taken the time to write them down and let you know it's okay to doubt yourself, it is normal to not feel happy all of the time, and it's okay to want to change. 

People have often said to me over the last few years 'you've changed' and yes I have. I've changed because where I was a few years ago wasn't where I wanted to be. I've changed because I've grown, priorities have altered and a desire to better myself has emerged from within, where it was often overshadowed by crippling self-doubt and low self esteem. 

Mind Management

Our aesthetic make up can often fool others into thinking they know exactly who we are. 

Those ignorant to the time and effort it takes to change your body, often mistake it for arrogance and vanity and although some may craft amazing bodies, their mind, passion and drive can often go unnoticed in the process. 

I find it fascinating that although I have transformed my body over the last few years, some major insecurities, fears and stresses still remain. The kind of worries that often go unnoticed behind a good tight fitting dress and coat of lipstick. 

reaching past the fads.

 

Walking into the kitchen at my parent's house, I was faced with typical sights: a little bag of funsized milky-ways which promise to be 'less than 80 calories and 45% less fat" and now the new addition of 'Low fat, special K, granola'.
 
We are currently in a sedately society, in which many people suffer with health problems due to weight. We are also surrounded by 'miracle products,' which promise all the satisfaction, without the guilt, or all the hard work, with minimal effort.
 

Inner strength.

I've often been known to stress the importance of maintaining a healthy mind-set as well as a healthy body. This is been particularly important to me recently when my courage and positivity has been put to the test.

To those who do not train regularly, the idea that you can spend every day doing exercise is often seen as completely alien. 'What do you do for fun though?' is often asked when I talk about my working, training routine.

For me, the gym is my release, it is my fun, my playground. This is been a particularly amazing tool lately when going through some tough family times and knowing I could escape the worries of the world for an hour or two.

How healthy is healthy?

This post is about exposing some harsh truths, and the reality of obsessive behaviour.

So, you've made the healthy change. You've lost weight and are feeling amazing, your clothes are loose, your energy is up, and your mind is focused, but think carefully, when was the last time you laughed? When was the last time you took the time to see your friends, or spend some quality time with a loved one? When was the last time you did an activity that wasn't meal prepping, exercising or health related?

Big Britain.

Britain's state of health has come under serious scrutiny over the last decade, with more and more people hitting the both ends of the weight extremes spectrum.

I believe we are one of the countries most obsessed about our appearance and attractiveness to others and often this results in preconceptions before we've even opened our mouths.

The average size for a UK woman is now a size 16 and since the 1950s, the average woman's waist size has increased 7 inches. I understand every woman deserves to feel comfortable in her skin, and feel beautiful no matter what, but the reality of our increasing waistline average is the increasing amount of media that circulates the message that big is now the norm.

Smash and select!

The latest craze of 'necknominations' is sweeping social media daily, I don't know about you but I'm getting more and more frustrated with people trying to out-do each other with some quite frankly, disgusting mixes of drinks!

The binge drinking craze isn't something new, and the concept of downing drinks to chanting or peer-pressure isn't a new idea either. Some banter with @Wrighty1357 on twitter has got me thinking of ways to take over this new craze in a much more fun way for us geeky fitness folk (of which the closest thing we'll down is a protein shake.)

So we propose the following:

SMASH AND SELECT.

IIFYM (If it fits your mind)

 

"A diet is like a marriage, you can't cheat on it and expect it to work."

I have always been opposed to the word 'diet' myself. To me, diet implies restrictions, boundaries, and ultimately gets our mind set into deprivation mode and therefore we spend all our time thinking of the 'banned foods' we cannot have.

Unfortunately however, if you are competing or training for something in particular, it does require an extended level of commitment compared to those who are after a long-term lifestyle change.

Are you in denial?

Now this post will probably rattle a few cages, but hey, sometimes some things need to be said.
I posted an article yesterday on twitter by Katie Hopkins who's traditional controversial approach took to the issue of weight loss and the thin ideal. She expressed the nations obsession with justifying weight gain and the 'size 16' normality.

Whilst I don't necessarily agree that someone who has a pretty naturally slender physique can comment on the inner workings of a bigger girl's mind. I can however, speak with some experience, and unfortunately I do to some extent agree.

Strength.

We all have parts of our body we aren't happy with, and for some that can be quite a few. When I reached the point of no longer wanting to be 'skinny' but to achieve an overall healthy and stronger physique, it became less about shrinking certain areas and more about learning to understand how my body adapted to training and nutrition manipulation. 

Although many measure strength in numbers, I believe this whole process is a lot more than that. It's having the strength to get yourself to the gym in the first place when it would be easy to stroll on past, or having the strength to wake up earlier than most when the dark mornings make us want nothing more than those few extra moments in bed. 

It's also having the strength to do things which most people will never be able to understand, and to forever be dissatisfied with having 'just enough'. 

Motivation Monday.

As someone who has studied the power of the English language to a great extent, I am a big believer in the right words having the ability to transform our thought processes into positive or negative outcomes.

There seems to be a complete influx of quotations which fill the fitness industry in particular in an attempt to get the unmotivated moving again. I tend to fall on the argument of being favourable towards quotations and motivating pictures, not necessarily because they motivate me completely but they do however help me to feel like I am not alone during moments of self-doubt and frustration.

The Juicy Truth.

A study by the UK's Centre for Appearance research (CAR) found that 90% of UK women are unhappy with their bodies. It is this constant state of dissatisfaction which means the currently market for weight loss products is enormous and expanding daily.

It seems more and more people want to lose weight but are often too impatient to create a sustainable weight loss plan.One of the latest crazes to be sweeping through the celebrity world is 'Juice Dieting' - Replacing your daily meal intake by juices made up with an array of fruits, vegetables and supplements. 

2014.

So here it is, January. The beginning of the year, and for me, the beginning of lots of exciting plans for the year ahead. 

Lots of people fall into the trap of 'New Years Resolutions' and empty promises, but one thing I am proud of myself for is my drive to achieve the goals I set for myself and I won't stop until I do. 

I am very lucky to be beginning the year on several highs. The first being the decision to take on a weekly night course to train to be a GP referral personal trainer, specialising in obesity patients and weight management. I will begin with my level 2 fitness instructor course and then branch off to take on the GP referral course and extra studies in nutrition and weight management.