Mind Management

Our aesthetic make up can often fool others into thinking they know exactly who we are. 

Those ignorant to the time and effort it takes to change your body, often mistake it for arrogance and vanity and although some may craft amazing bodies, their mind, passion and drive can often go unnoticed in the process. 

I find it fascinating that although I have transformed my body over the last few years, some major insecurities, fears and stresses still remain. The kind of worries that often go unnoticed behind a good tight fitting dress and coat of lipstick. 

In fact I would maybe even go as far as saying I was less concerned when I was overweight than I am at a healthy weight. I've always been an over-thinker and deep person, but my worries were once less about my food intake and waistline and more about the natural stresses of life. 

Sometimes you have to step outside and look upon the life you are creating. I have so much left to give and I know currently I am not in a career progression route to take advantage of that. My body isn't how I want it but I do have an amazing list of things to be humble and grateful for. 

Sometimes I think people become trapped in a self-improvement mission, that they forget to take care of their mental health. Although I may no longer suffer from the stereotypical symptoms associated with eating disorders, I would definitely say I am not completely relaxed with food, nor would I say I am completely recovered. One thing I do pride myself on is honesty, and until I can comfortably step out the house knowing I am comfortable in my own skin, I will continue to improve and work hard, every single day. 

Although I may be no where near goal, I do not necessarily see this as a thing to fear. Self-improvement can be the greatest motivational tool and the greatest push you need to reach that little bit further. It doesn't however mean that because I will continue to work on my body, I will neglect my mind also.

I will still make time to do the things that make me happiest: going for long walks with the family, burying my head in a good book of poetry, baking and painting. Never neglect your happiness for the sake of your appearance. If the last month has taught me anything, it's that time is precious. Laugh every day, make sure everyone you love knows you care, go into the gym and get the job done, but leave knowing it it is only a small proportion of making your life better.