Who Am I?

Throughout my life I have found it very difficult to surround myself with a large group of women, and I am mostly comfortable within a very male dominated environment. This is largely due to the fact that I have found a lot of women I have come across to be catty and a large number of males to be honest and much straighter to the point.

Although I am proud to be a female and I have very strong female role models in my mother and grandmothers, I often find it hard to believe how presumptuous women can be. This is particularly something I have found since getting into fitness, which I hope never become. 

Perspire to Inspire

So I’m currently 18 weeks out from my first ever competition, a situation completely out of my comfort zone which is pretty much the reason I have put myself forward in the first place.

The fitness industry seems to be full of a lot of women who mask their unhealthy mind-set behind a couple of raunchy photoshoots and instagrammed pictures of oat porn.

It is probably not unrealistic to presume that a lot of girls who will be beside me on stage in September will not have had to have shifted the amount of weight I have. I am by no means saying that is there fault, but girls who have never had weight-gain issues will probably never know the struggle it takes to get comfortable in your own skin.

Everything in moderation.

Since turning the corner from fat to fit, five years ago, I have at times struggled with overwhelming moments of guilt when consuming what society tells us are ‘bad foods’.

Segregating a food or food group as forbidden, naturally enhances its desire. The forbidden fruit complex, or in this case, the forbidden flapjack.

This was always a detail of fad diets such as ‘slimming world’ which perplexed me the most. Labelling food as ‘syns’ only makes my overactive imagination imagine an avocado shaped devil doing a striptease…. and I won’t even go into their unlimited muller light policy!

Speaking from experience, I know the power that giving labels to foods can cause on your overall mental state, and often deprivation of certain foods leads to binging, guilt and over-excessive cardio ‘compensation.’

Like Attracts Like

Well, it's been a while since I found myself blogging and I guess I will take that as a good thing on this occasion, as I've been taking the time to work on my inner peace and discovering some things about myself and those around me.

I think its dreadfully important to take some time out to be alone, and often time alone is forgotten about as part of a day filled with work, social events and families. 

I am a strong believer that unless you can find enjoyment within your own company, you will struggle to attract those who will ultimately enhance your life. 

Ready to bloom.

I have been absent from the world of blogging for a little while now, whilst I started to restore some general order in what had become a very cluttered brain of mine.

I feel a little bit of a fraud to offer people advice when my own head isn’t completely settled, and it is often something I see: people dishing out bold statements when their own life doesn't mirror their preaching words.

So here it goes, a little bit about where I am currently at, where I am hoping to be, and all the niggling little thoughts in between.

Binge.

Since my weight-loss journey began, aside from adapting my body, it has also been paramount for me to adapt my relationship with food. 

I'm probably going to divulge into some areas many may be able to relate to here, whilst also getting a bit personally into my past - I must stress this is not for sympathy nor attention but merely my way of ensuring that some of those who may also feel/have felt like me are not alone. 

Focus on you.

Over the last month it would be an understatement to say my life has changed. I left a job that was draining my confidence and ambition and set out to change things within my life I wasn't happy about. 

I now find myself 130 miles away from home having moved away from Nottingham to set up a new life in Norwich, Norfolk. I have taken on a much more challenging yet rewarding role within marketing and journalism and have set my sights on growing my knowledge and pushing myself to achieve the best I can.